recovery

We have this word, "recovery", was it first used by Alcoholics Anonymous or something? I'm familiar with it from another recovery group, Celebrate Recovery, which is a Bible-based group modeled after the AA 12 steps.

So what does "recovery" mean? We say, "I'm in recovery." So I guess it's a state of being or action? Dictionary says to recover means "to regain, to make up for, to reclaim". So recovery would be the act of regaining or reclaiming. "I'm in the act of reclaiming" who God created me to be, the me that was stolen by the thieves of neglect, misunderstanding, and condemnation.
I like that.

It's scary though. Very scary. It seems like that takes huge amounts of faith! To believe that there is a ME that is uniquely created, and that I can find that ME, that I can be that ME, that God LIKES that ME? I have a knot in my stomach just contemplating it.

The pain I feel is in part the pain of not being able to be that ME, but of wanting to be, but of being very afraid because of all the times I've tried and been shot down.